With Love

Dear Didi,
Have you ever been in love? What is it like to love? I think I am in love with my best friend but how would I know it? Is there a sign, fireworks or some sorts?
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Yes, I have been in love before. It is truly one of the most exciting experiences ever and even if it doesn't work out, I'm glad that it did happened because it made me who I am today. As far as telling if you're in love or not, I can't tell you that. You know when you're in love, no signs or anything. You're mind, body, and soul will feel complete when you're with that person. Falling in love comes naturally don't force it and when the time is right, you too will be rewarded with love. Sometimes, falling in love will end up in heartbreak but we are able to fall in love more than once! You say that you "think" you are in love with your best friend, but that's the problem right there. When you fall in love, you don't "think," you are, you know you are. ;) Time will tell my dear.
Much <3,
Didi

To withdraw or not withdraw? That is the question!

Dear Didi,
I am 18 years old and I not a virgin. I always used condoms but they don't feel good after a while. I have a question tho, is the withdrawal method effective? I've been debating about using it because my boyfriend complains that sex will feel good without a condom on.
Ms.Sex Me

Dear Ms.Sex Me,
First of all, how would your boyfriend know how it feels like to have sex without a condom on? Is he your first or is he getting some somewhere else. I'm not saying he's cheating but why is he bringing this up all of a sudden? It sounds really odd but to answer your question, I would say it is not the most reliable method of birth control but for couples who do it perfectly, there is a 94-96% effective rate. However, the guy has to be sexually mature to do so and if you guys are okay with stopping in the moment, then I suggest that you don't try this method. Basically, the withdrawal method requires the guy to pull out his ahem, "junk" right before he ejaculates in you. This is very dangerous because one thing, there is such thing as pre-cum. Although there are studies suggesting that there is no sperm in pre-cum, I beg to differ because I know some couples that got pregnant off of pre-cum. Sometimes when you are in the heat of the moment, the guy will forget to pull out and therefore, sperm can enter the body. Even one second late can cause a pregnancy. I know I can't tell you what to do or not to do, but if you decide to do this method, please have a backup form of birth control if it fails. Plan B is handy for mishaps. Also, have the guy urinate before you try this method out to clean and flush out any existing sperm in his system. I strongly do not recommend this method because it can cause unwanted pregnancies. Another option: Have you tried taking birth control pills? If the expense is the reason why you can't take them, search around for health clinics around your town. Some clinics will offer free to low cost on birth control pills.
Much <3,
Didi

Fuzzy Feelings

lovegivesmehope.com

If you are ever feeling blue, go on this site. It will turn that smile upside down!
Much <3,
Didi

Stuck on you

Dear Didi,
I am seriously crushing on this girl at my school. She is perfect and I think about her all the time! We use to hang out but lately, she has stopped calling and texting me. I thought she was interested in me and I was about to ask her out but then this all happened. It's been a month since I've talked to her and I'm always wondering if she is seeing someone, hence maybe that is the reason why she stopped talking to me. I want to get over her, but I can't. I feel like I'm going to be stuck on her for a while. Is there any hope for me and her? Or should I move on? Thanks!
Unrequited Love

Dear Unrequited Love,
We as humans have the ability to love and crush on others. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. Try, try and don't try again. If first you don't succeed, try again..but that's it. The rule of thumb is that you only try an x amount of times before you should move on. Before you jump into thinking she is taken, weigh out the options. Maybe the timing wasn't right, maybe she's busy, or maybe she just wants you as a friend. Timing is important, I know couples who knew each other for years but never dated because the stars were just not aligned for them at the moment. If she is busy, let her have her space. No girl wants a guy constantly bombarding her with massive texts/phone calls. You don't want to come off as being clingy. Also, if she just wants to be friends, respect her decision. It's better to have her in your life, even if it's just as a friend then not in your life at all. Try to call her up and if she doesn't respond then sadly, you need to try to move on. Don't ever wait on someone who makes it clear that they don't want to be with you. I know it's hard to move on because I had a crush on a guy for three years, that's right, THREE years. If I could move on, you can too. Who knows? Maybe she just wasn't the right one for you. For every guy, there will always be a girl for him. Instead of feeling defeated, learn from it. Did she make you a better person? If she did, then you really didn't lose anything.
Much <3,
Didi

Bitch, Please!

Dear Didi,
I am a senior high school and I am miserable!!!! I was friends with these girls and one of them started a rumor about me and somehow it got out to all of my friends and now they won't talk to me anymore. I use to eat lunch with these girls and now every time I see them in the hallways, they glare and whisper to each other about me. I am seriously thinking about transferring to another high school. I feel so victimized! I want to seriously punch that girl's face but I'm way too nice.
Ms.Outcast

Dear Ms.Outcast,
I'm sorry to hear about that. Everyone, including myself, have been through all of that one point or another in our lives. I know it's hard for you right now but keep your head up high because a year from now, it won't even matter dear. Please don't punch anyone! You don't want to go to jail and skip out on prom and graduation do you? Listen to me very carefully, try to confront the situation in a mature and demure way. Pull the girl who started the rumor aside and ask why she did it. She might answer you or not. If she does and she causes a ruckus in front of your face, just walk away. That is the mature thing to do. If she refuses to talk to you, leave it be. You can't force someone to talk to you if they don't want to. I know it's very tempting for you to talk about them too, but in the end, as much as you talk about them it won't matter. They will still be mean regardless. You don't want to turn into a mean girl do you? You can vent it out to your friends, but do it once and move on. I noticed that girls who act this way are insecure with themselves. They love to cause trouble because they feel that they need to put someone down in order to climb up the social ladder. Next time you see them in the hallways and they glare and whisper about you, put your head up high, stand tall, and look them straight in the eyes. Don't ever think of yourself as a lower or higher human being, but as an equal. Be confident! As for the friends that you lost, they are worthless. The friends you want are the ones that will disregard that rumor because they know that is merely just a rumor and they love you because of who you are. I know it's hard to find the silver lining in this situation, but think of it this way, at least you got rid of these girls now. Imagine if you were still "friends" with them, they would have done alot more damage to you in the future.
Much <3,
Didi
P.S. I know it's easier said than done, but just know that you're not the only one that is going through this. Focus on what is important to you and you will learn how to heal.

The X Factor

Dear Didi,
This is about my ex-boyfriend. Well, we broke up couple months ago in January, but we were still close and pretty much still acted like a couple until this month when he took a leave to Korea for vacation. While he was in Korea though, he barely contacted me (he said he would, he promised that he would). Sometimes we would go days without talking to each other. He wouldn't even bother to get online or at least leaving me a message on Facebook. I had a feeling that he was cheating or whatever. I have no proof though and he told me that he wasn't. I got fed up and angry. Now that I have a new boyfriend, my ex became clingy and begging me to come back. I don't want him back though. My new boyfriend treats me really well. I hope you give me an unbiased opinion. :D
Ms.It's Over

Dear Ms.It's Over,
You said that you guys still acted like a couple but if it was not officially on at the time then it's a given that he probably won't commit to you like a boyfriend should. I know that he promised you many things but have you tried to communicate with him while he was overseas? Did he give you reasons why he didn't contact you? If he gives you a reason that does not make sense to you, then you have the right to form doubts but you can't really accuse him of "cheating" on you when you guys weren't a couple at the time. Unless he and you both declare that you guys are in a relationship at the time, then he has the right to act like a single guy. It seems to me that he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He expects you to be there waiting for him when he is done doing his thing. I think he is so used to having you around that although he doesn't want to be as committed, he still wants you on the sidelines. He wants you more now because you're happy and he can't have what he once had. He's jealous because he feels that your new boyfriend is taking you away from him and I think he is afraid to lose you, both as a friend and potential girlfriend. Deep down inside, I think he is starting to regret how he treated you because he sees how happy you are with your new guy. To get him to back off, have an honest heart to heart conversation with him. Don't point any fingers at anyone and don't be angry. If you fight fire with fire, it will become a bigger fire. Instead, tell him that what you and him once had was special and you appreciated it, but that was the past. Tell him to stop living in the past and move onto the present. If he truly does care about you then he will let you go and be happy. He should be happy for your happiness and he should embrace it. When the time is right, then you guys can learn to be just friends. If the message doesn't get through to him and he starts harassing and bothering you again, just lose contact with him. He will eventually get the message that you want to be left alone. But do that only if all else fails. Hope that helps!
Much <3,
Didi
P.S. Guys always want what they can't have ;) A good relationship is not full of self doubt and it's about 50-50, not 60-40, 70-30, etc. Also, if the significant other brings out the worst in you or makes you unhappy, then you shouldn't be with him in the first place. Looks like you made a wise choice to move on dear.

To Sex or not to Sex?

Didi,
I am in a relationship for about 2 years now and I am still a virgin. My boyfriend wants to have sex and have complained to me that he has waited for so long. I really don't know what to do? If I don't do it, then I feel like he's going to dump me. Please help me!
Ms.Virgin

Ms. Virgin,
Do NOT let any guy, even if he is your boyfriend to pressure you into doing anything. Having sex is a very emotional and taxing decision and once you do it, you can't take it back. Ask yourself first, Are you ready? It seems to me that you have doubts and you feel that if you have sex with him, you will be able to keep him and the relationship going. That is solely a wrong reason to do the deed. Besides, what happens if you have sex with him and he ends up dumping you? There are many consequences to having sex when you aren't ready so I advise you to think about your thoughts and actions carefully. If he truly is the guy that you call a "boyfriend," he will respect your decision of not having sex until you're ready. Otherwise, he is not worth your time my dear.
Much <3,
DiDi